Not all prisoners are wearing orange jumpsuits. Sometimes you will see them in a suit, a dress, a pair of jeans and a shirt, or a uniform.
Some of us are prisoners of the past.
Your mind is pre-occupied with what ifs and should haves. You keep on revisiting that door from the past because you are still holding on to that key. You don’t know if you would rather lock yourself in there; wallow in bitterness; and be miserable at best or throw away the key in the sea of forgiveness. Let that scars from the past heal. Don’t lock yourself in that door. Let that shit go.
Some of us are prisoners of the future.
You would rather think, plan, and daydream about the future than be present at the moment. You think: “Fuck this shithole! I’d rather get lost in my head.” You romanticize the future too much the present is so jealous of it. Let that shit go.
Most of us are prisoners of the present.
You feel trapped in your parent’s house; or your work that no longer makes you happy; or your school and/or the course you are taking up now; or the city you are living in. Sometimes you feel imprisoned with the company of your boyfriend who doesn’t give a damn; or that someone you have feelings for but doesn’t feel the same way about you; or your “friends” who bring you down; or your family who doesn’t believe in you. Impressing people and trying to fit in are part of your daily struggles. You say what they say and do what they do while you wear that fake smile on your face. Sometimes you think and ask yourself if you are still faking it or you are already like them. Stop neglecting your true self. Let that shit go.
Despite the role of your past, present and future holding you back, it all boils down to yourself. How did you let it rule your whole being? How did you even get there? You are the worst kind of prison. What you think and what you feel you can and cannot do–what you feed your mind and your soul. You say you don’t like where you are and what you are feeling but you would rather live the life you are used to and settle for “okay” than take a risk and feel great. You would rather be behind bars than be freed. Why don’t you let that shit go?
There are times when your friends are hurt, you’ll feel like a part of you is crushed too. All you could think of is how to ease their pain but being heartbroken isn’t anything like headache.
I’ve been thinking about this longing thing–the way I am deeply missing someone I haven’t met yet. I came up with a theory that maybe a thousand years ago, our souls were together on a different universe. And when it was time to leave that world, we became supernovas and eventually turned into a pair of human beings on this planet called Earth. Memories are all gone but our beings are engraved on each other’s souls. Maybe that is where the yearning is coming from. It’s a weird concept but anything is possible.